plum oblivion

​

When I wanted it you gave it 

covering my mouth 

I moaned but no sound came out 

the clean sheets respired 

I wondered if they felt high, too 

 

and your skin, I swear I saw it breathing

green liquid in your iris  

saw them seeing

How could something so potent sound so quiet 

 

Now it’s the future I’m alone 

hot afternoon masturbating in the shower

cum and then I cry thinking of you 

holding your new lover 

oh how it hurts

 

Thought I explained it well

all my past unfurled for you

but there were only words to help 

left me alone in a moment 

a panic attack set in

 

Prioritising someone else 

frightened heart, I lose myself 

history engulfing, and spitting jealousy

despise it, try to mitigate it, clam inside a shell 

pacing Paris streets just like a carousel

 

and your skin, I swear I saw it seething

resentment in your eyes

I saw them seeing 

how could something so potent sound so quiet

 

now it’s the future I’m alone

can’t let you go can’t let you in 

suspended in a capsule of time 

plum oblivion

 

but I want to be better than my pain